高一或高二的英语短文（要求搞笑幽默简单150个单词以内）!求救999求救!简单的英语幽默短文!越简练越好!单词量越少最好!必须是高一或高二范围内的!精益求精!多写几篇我比较比较!

高一或高二的英语短文（要求搞笑幽默简单150个单词以内）!求救999求救!简单的英语幽默短文!越简练越好!单词量越少最好!必须是高一或高二范围内的!精益求精!多写几篇我比较比较!
高一或高二的英语短文（要求搞笑幽默简单150个单词以内）!求救999
求救!简单的英语幽默短文!越简练越好!单词量越少最好!必须是高一或高二范围内的!精益求精!多写几篇我比较比较!

高一或高二的英语短文（要求搞笑幽默简单150个单词以内）!求救999求救!简单的英语幽默短文!越简练越好!单词量越少最好!必须是高一或高二范围内的!精益求精!多写几篇我比较比较!
帮你选择了 一些 绝对经典
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1．Do You Know My Work?
One night a hotel caught fire, and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes．
Two men stood outside and looked at the fire．
“Before I came out,” said one,“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money． People don't think of money when they're afraid． When anyone leaves paper money in a fire, the fire burns it． So I took all the bills that I could find．No one will be poorer because I took them．”
“You don't know my work,” said the other．
“What is your work?”
“I'm a policeman．
“Oh!” cried the first man． He thought quickly and said,“And do you know my work?”“No,”said the policeman．
“I'm a writer． I'm always telling stories about things that never happened．”
译文：（自己简单翻译）
你知道我是干什么的吗?
一天晚上,一家旅馆失火,住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来.
两个人站在外面,看着大火.
“在我出来之前,”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间,找到了一大笔钱.人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的.如果有人把纸币留在火里,火就会把它烧成灰烬.所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了.没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷.”
“你不知道我是干什么的.”另一个说.
“你是干什么的?”
“我是警察.”
“噢!”第一个人喊了一声.他灵机一动,说：“那你知道我是干什么的?”“不知道.”警察说.
“我是个作家.我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事.”
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2.．A Mysterious Letter
“I don't like to inquire too curiously into your affairs,”said the lady to her husband．“But something's been bothering me for days．”
“So?” said the husband．“Tell me all about it．”
“You got a letter last Friday,”the lady said．“It was perfumed．It was in a girl's handwriting．I saw you oped it：you broke into a sweat．You turned white．Your hands trembled…For goodness'sake,who was it from and what did it say?”
“Oh,that,”said the husband．“I decided it was best for both of us not to talk about it at the time．”
“For heaven's sake,”screamed the woman．“Tell me who it was from and what it said．”
“Okay,”said the husband．“It was from your dress shop．It said you owe them＄740.00．”
中文：（简单翻译）
一封神秘的信
“我不想过分好奇地打听你的事情,”妻子对她的丈夫说.“但是有件事已经困扰我好几天了.”
“是吗?”丈夫说.“你说给我听听.”
“上星期五你收到了一封信,”妻子说.“信是洒了香水的.是女孩的字迹.我见你打开信：你突然冒出一身冷汗,你的脸变得煞白,你的手颤抖着…….天哪,是谁写的信?信上都说了些什么?”
“噢,是这事儿.”丈夫说.“我当时决定我们俩最好不要谈论它.”
“天哪!”那女人尖叫起来,“告诉我谁写的,都写了些什么.”
“好吧.”丈夫说.“是从你的服装店寄来的,说你欠他们七百四十美元.”

3．Who Was the First Man?
A teacher said to her class：
“Who was the first man?”
“George Washington,”a little boy shouted promptly．
“How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?”asked the teacher,smiling indulgently．
“Because,”said the little boy,“he was first in war,first in peace,and first in the hearts of his countrymen．”
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand．
“Well,” said the teacher to him,“who do you think was the first man?”
“I don't know what his name was,”said the larger boy,“but I know it wasn't George Washington,ma’am,because the history book says George Washington married a widow,so,of course,there must have been a man ahead of him．”
中文译： 简单翻译
谁是第一个男人?

有个老师问班上的学生：
“谁是第一个男人?”
“乔治·华盛顿,”一个小男孩当即叫道.
“你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢?”老师问道,宽容地微笑着.
小男孩说：“因为他是战时第一,和时第一,国人心中第一.”
这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来.
“那么,”老师对他说,“你认为谁是第一个男人呢?”
“我不知道他的名字,”大点儿的男孩说,“但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿,老师.因为历史书上说,乔治·华盛顿娶了一个寡妇,所以在他前面肯定还有一个男人.”
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上帝为你关了这扇门，必会为你再开另一扇门
The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for god to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but ...

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上帝为你关了这扇门，必会为你再开另一扇门
The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for god to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions. But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky. The worst had happened; everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger. "God! how could you do this to me!" he cried. Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him.
"how did you know i was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "we saw your smoke signal," they replied.
It is easy to get discouraged when things are going bad. But we shouldn't lose heart, because god is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering. Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the ground it just may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of god. For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, god has a positive answer for it :
The Importance of Confidence
Whatever one does, one should do it with confidence. If one has no confidence, there is little possibility that one can achieve anything when faced with hardships. This truth seems to be self-evident. In reality, however, we do see a lot of people who always complain that they lack the ability to do something or that their difficulties are too great to overcome. For some, this might be true. But for many others, this only shows that they have lost heart. Why do some people often feel frustrated even though they are capable of doing something? In the first place, these people don’t have a correct estimate of themselves. Secondly, there is another possibility that they exaggerate the difficulties.
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Smoking
It is almost known to all that smoking is bad for people's health.The World Health Organization says diseases linked to smoking kill at least two million five-hundred-thousand persons each year.It is difficult to stop smoking.It usually becomes a habitual behaviour,are not easy to be given up.
Measures have been taken to help people keep away from the harm of smoking.The World "No Tobacco Day" is observed every year as the biggest compaign against smoking.
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Advantages of Five-Day week
A five-day week has been put into practice in China, which is welcomed by every-one.Families have benefited from it very much. Children are able to learn usefully skills, women have enough time to take care of the house or relax.
society has also benefited from it.Then the shops and travel agency will have more customers.What's more, individuals can make full use of a weekend for a good rest. Adequate rest will enable him to work more efficiently.
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Global Shortage of Fresh Water
People often think that water will never be used up. It seems as if water is always available around us .
In fact water is rather limited on the earth. With the rapid increase of population and fast development of industries, water is more needed than before. some big cities in China are facing the problem of water shorage already.
The people should be made aware of the real situation about the water We have to protect the existing water resources and develop new ones.

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