英语文章修改（初三水平） 200分When I’m with youWhen I’m with youI still remember clearly We sat at the lakeAnd Listened to you sing this songBeautiful melody and your beautiful voiceIt’s amazing and beautifulAnd I’ll never forget

英语文章修改（初三水平） 200分When I’m with youWhen I’m with youI still remember clearly We sat at the lakeAnd Listened to you sing this songBeautiful melody and your beautiful voiceIt’s amazing and beautifulAnd I’ll never forget
英语文章修改（初三水平） 200分
When I’m with you
When I’m with you
I still remember clearly
We sat at the lake
And Listened to you sing this song
Beautiful melody and your beautiful voice
It’s amazing and beautiful
And I’ll never forget
When I’m with you
I am thinking of a dazzling girl every second
From the first time we met
Thinking of your big bright eyes
Thinking of your smooth hair
Thinking of your sweet smile
Everything in your body is perfect
You turns me on
When I’m with you
Every second to be with you is the sweetest thing
You make me happy,joyful
And not lonely
We took walks at the park together
Clear lake,Fresh air
And the bright stars hanging in the sky
We rode a horse together
And Sat together closely
I can feel your temperature
We watch a movie together
You were sitting next to me
With the weak light
I saw your beautiful face
Such a hysterical girl
We ate KFC together
The food is on you lips
So cute
We play-around together
Cool
When I’m with you
Though I have many shortcomings,
I’ll try my best to straighten them up.
Now I’m not drop the garbage everywhere
I would drop them into the dust bin just like you
When I’m with you
Maybe we’ll never meet from this morning
The last thing you left here is your sweet smile
And your warm hug
……………
I read the words on the wall
And your card
Star light ,star bright
The first star I see tonight
I wish I may ,I wish I might
Have the wish I wish tonight
……………
Seriously
Give you my words now
I will always remember you
I will always keep a warm place in my heart for you
And I promise you we’ll keep in touch
I’ll keeping the promise that I made
When I’m with you
You are just like a music in me
The days we had is unforgettable
I will always thinking of these days
Thank you
For giving me so many happy memories
I’ll miss you
文章说的人马上要出国了
写了本篇文章送给她
本篇写作时比较大胆
参考了大量的文章
也用了gogle 翻译
还有when i'm with you 的歌曲在中间穿插 （由于百度字数限制，删掉了，在有“when i'm with you ”的地方时一小段歌词）
由于现在我只是刚上初三
所以能力有限
看起来一定会很生硬
一定会有很多错误
怎么改都行
做到语句通顺
没有错误

英语文章修改（初三水平） 200分When I’m with youWhen I’m with youI still remember clearly We sat at the lakeAnd Listened to you sing this songBeautiful melody and your beautiful voiceIt’s amazing and beautifulAnd I’ll never forget
稍微改了一下语法错误,毕竟这是你自己的心意,我不能改里面的内容.
When I’m with you
When I’m with you
I still remember clearly
We sat by the lake
And listened to you sing the song
Beautiful melody and your lively（形容明快,活泼） voice
all make me crazy,I’ll be never forget
When I’m with you
I am thinking of a dazzling girl every second
At the first time we met
Thinking of your big bright eyes
Thinking of your smooth hair
Thinking of your sweety（甜美的） smile
You are so perfect to me
When I’m with you
Whenever,wherever,what to do
You all make me happy,enjoy
And make the lonely go away（使寂寞远去）
We walked at the way of park together
Clear lake,Fresh air
And the bright stars hanging in the sky
We rode a horse together
And Sat closely
I can feel your body temperature
We watch movies together
You had sit next to me
With the weak light
I saw your beautiful face
what a hysterical girl
We ate KFC together
The food is in you lips
So cute
We play-around together
The feeling so cool
When I’m with you
Though I have many shortcomings as well
But I’ll try my best to improve them
Now I have not drop the garbage anywhere
I drop them into the dustbin as you as
When I’m with you
Maybe we’ll never meet after this morning
The last thing you left to me is your sweet smile
And your warm hug
……………
I read the words on the wall
And your card
Star light ,star bright
The first star I see tonight
I wish I may ,I wish I might
Have the wish I wish tonight
……………
Seriously
Give you my words now
I will always remember you
I will always keep a warm place in my heart to you
And I promise you we’ll keep in relationgship
I’ll keep this promise（诺言） which I promise to（承诺）
When I’m with you
The days we had is unforgettable
I will always thinking of the days we process
Thanks for giving me so many happy memories
I’ll miss you everyday

嗯楼上说的可以。我八级英语水平看了也不想改了，改得太深了你看不懂！

拜托不要用Google 楼上那位改的可以了，挺自然的了

楼上的要注意时态和单复数问题。
When I’m with you
When I’m with you
I still remember clearly
We sat by the lake
And listened to you sing the song
Beautiful melody and your lively voice
al...

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楼上的要注意时态和单复数问题。
When I’m with you
When I’m with you
I still remember clearly
We sat by the lake
And listened to you sing the song
Beautiful melody and your lively voice
all make me crazy，I’d be never forget
When I’m with you
I am thinking of a dazzling girl every second
At the first time we met
Thinking of your big bright eyes
Thinking of your smooth hair
Thinking of your sweety smile
You are so perfect to me
When I’m with you
Whenever,wherever，what to do
You all make me happy, enjoy
And make the lonely go away

We walked at the way of park together
Clear lake, Fresh air
And the bright stars hanging in the sky
We rode a horse together
And Sat closely
I can feel your heart's temperature
We watch movies together
You had sit next to me
With the weak light
I saw your beautiful face
what a hysterical girl
We ate KFC together
The food is in you lips
So cute
We play-around together
The feeling so cool
When I’m with you
Though I have many shortcomings as well
But I’ll try my best to improve them
Now I have not drop the garbage anywhere
I drop them into the dustbin as you as
When I’m with you
Maybe we’ll never meet after this morning
The last thing you left to me is your sweet smile
And your warm hug
……………
I read the words on the wall
And your card
Star light , star bright
The first star I see tonight
I wish I may ,I wish I might
Have the wish I wish tonight
……………
Seriously
Give you my words now
I will always remember you
I will always keep a warm place in my heart to you
And I promise you we’ll keep in relationgship
I’ll keep this promise（诺言） which I promise to（承诺）
When I’m with you
The days we had were unforgettable
I will always thinking of the days we processed
Thanks for giving me so many happy memories
I’ll miss you everyday
建议楼主这样的英文文章搞一篇就是了，以后要用中文交流，你那朋友要出国，毕竟母语还是很亲切的，因为以后可是全部都是英文环境。搞多了，就看得出来不是你写的了，太花哨了也不好

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