谁来帮我修改一下英语作文,奖金多多.谁帮我把这篇英语作文修改的更生动一下,查出单词、语法、标点错误,修改单词最好不要超过初中范围.谁改得越好悬赏就是谁的,还有更多的奖励!Today is

谁来帮我修改一下英语作文,奖金多多.谁帮我把这篇英语作文修改的更生动一下,查出单词、语法、标点错误,修改单词最好不要超过初中范围.谁改得越好悬赏就是谁的,还有更多的奖励!Today is
谁来帮我修改一下英语作文,奖金多多.
谁帮我把这篇英语作文修改的更生动一下,查出单词、语法、标点错误,修改单词最好不要超过初中范围.谁改得越好悬赏就是谁的,还有更多的奖励!
Today is a fine day,the sun is shine,the sky is bule,and some cloudys are in the sky.I am going to visit GuiLin with my grandparents today.
We go to GuiLin by bus,after two hours.We get to GuiLin.First ,we go to The Seven Star Park,it's a beautiful and famous park.There are some follows in the park,red,yellow,white and orange.They all are very lovely and beautiful.We take many photos in front of the graden.A little white later,we go to the zoo in the park.There are many animals in the zoo,like lion,monkey,tiger,bird and beer.I like brid best,because they have got beautiful feather and can sing many good songs.We watch animals' activity and feed something for them.
After leaving The Seven Star Park.We go to the LiRiver.There are many famous plases beside or on the LiRver.We meet many foreign man.The Li River's water is very clean an the hills are green,it looks like a wonderful picture.We stay beside the Li River a long time,feel very happy.
When we are tired,we take bus home,too.We have a lovely time!

谁来帮我修改一下英语作文,奖金多多.谁帮我把这篇英语作文修改的更生动一下,查出单词、语法、标点错误,修改单词最好不要超过初中范围.谁改得越好悬赏就是谁的,还有更多的奖励!Today is
这个作文典型的中国式思维 尤其是开头
Today was a fine and cloudy day,and the sky looked blue.I planned to visit Guilin with my grandfather.we spent 2 hours to Guilin by bus.when we got to Guilin ,we went to th seven star park as soon as possible(,which is a beautiful and famous park.如果你们学过定语重句 )(如果没学国定语重句,前面括号内的话变为.this park is a beautiful and famous.)there were many kinds of colours of flowers(这个词错了你).They all are very lovely and beautiful.We took many photos of the graden.After a while,we went to the zoo in the park.There are also many animals in the zoo,like lion,monkey,tiger,bird and beer.I like brid best,because they have got beautiful feather and can sing many good songs.We watch animals' activity and feed something for them.
After leaving The Seven Star Park,we went to the LiRiver.There are many famous places and bridges beside and on the LiRver.We met many foreigners .The Li River's water was very clean and the hills was green,it looks like a wonderful picture.We stayed beside the Li River a long time,feel very happy.
When we felt tired,we took the bus back home.We have.What a lovely time!

给100分 我帮你改了

Today is a fine day, the sun is shine, the sky is bule, and some cloudys are in the sky.I went to visit GuiLin with my grandparents today.
We went to GuiLin by bus, after two hours. We got GuiL...

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Today is a fine day, the sun is shine, the sky is bule, and some cloudys are in the sky.I went to visit GuiLin with my grandparents today.
We went to GuiLin by bus, after two hours. We got GuiLin.First ,we went to The Seven Star Park,it's a beautiful and famous park.There are some follows in the park,red,yellow,white and orange.They are all very lovely and beautiful.We take many photos in front of the garden.A little while later,we went to the zoo in the park.There are many animals in the zoo,like lions,monkeys,tiger,birds and beers.I like birds best,because they have got beautiful feather and can sing many good songs.We watched animals' performences and fed them.
After leaving The Seven Star Park.We went to the LiRiver.There are many famous places beside or on the LiRver.We met many foreigners .The water of the LiRver is very clean and the hills are green,it looks like a wonderful picture.We stayed beside the Li River for a long time and feeled very happy.
When we were tired,we took bus home,too.We have had a good time!
时态最好用过去时。以为是过去的事了

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Today is a fine day, the sun is shine, the sky is bule, and some clouds are in the sky.I am going to visit GuiLin with my grandparents today.
We go to GuiLin's home by bus, after two hours. We go...

全部展开

Today is a fine day, the sun is shine, the sky is bule, and some clouds are in the sky.I am going to visit GuiLin with my grandparents today.
We go to GuiLin's home by bus, after two hours. We go to GuiLin's house.First ,we go to The Seven Star Park,it's a beautiful and famous park.There are some flowers in the park,red,yellow,white and orange.They all are very lovely and beautiful.We take many photos in front of the graden.A little white later,we go to the zoo in the park.There are many animals in the zoo,like lion,monkey,tiger,bird and beer.I like brid best,because they have got beautiful feather and can sing many good songs.We watch animals' activity and feed something for them.
After leaving The Seven Star Park.We go to the LiRiver.There are many famous plases beside or on the LiRver.We meet many foreign man.The Li River's water is very clean an the hills are green,it looks like a wonderful picture.We stay beside the Li River a long time,feel very happy.
When we are tired,we take bus home,too.We have a lovely time!

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我觉得你全错,去过了桂林就应该用过去式来表示动作类的单词,你怎么还用现在式啊?难道你昨天的生日今天还再来多一次吗?

Today is a fine day, the sun shines, the sky is blue, and some clouds are in the sky.I am going to visit GuiLin with my grandparents today.
We go to GuiLin's home by bus. After two hours， we are...

全部展开

Today is a fine day, the sun shines, the sky is blue, and some clouds are in the sky.I am going to visit GuiLin with my grandparents today.
We go to GuiLin's home by bus. After two hours， we are at GuiLin's house. First,we go to The Seven Star Park. It's a beautiful and famous park. There are flowers in the park - red, yellow, white and orange. They all are very lovely and beautiful. We take many photos in front of the graden. A little while later,we go to the zoo in the park. There are many animals in the zoo, like lions, monkeys, tigers,birds and bears. I like birds best,because they have beautiful feathers and can sing many good songs. We also watch the animals and feed them with something.
After leaving The Seven Star Park, we go to the Li River. There are many famous places beside or on the Li River. There, we meet many foreign people. The Li River's water is very clean and the hills are green. It looks like a wonderful picture. We stay beside the Li River for a long time,and are feeling very happy.
When we get tired, we take a bus back home. We have a wonderful time!

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时态要改一下把,去过了用过去时把,比较好的,~~~~

第一排错两个。